I've realized recently that poker related subjects are on my mind very very often. Which is weird considering that I don't actually play all that often...maybe an average of 5 or 6 hours a week sometimes quite a bit more but only rarely. I probably just enjoy the environment more than anything, or perhaps just the welcome distraction from what seems like every day life. It's fun to day dream that a game could solve all your financial problems...though if it ever did do this I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy the game much.

I played in a 2-10 live game in blackhawk this weekend. Pretty typical terrible play going on. I think i only made one major mistake but still lost a bill...KK<78...AQ<97 (standard obv) I did drag one big pot which was nice...but whatever, I wish i could totally not worry about money like that, but ministry doesn't exactly pay the bills well. Am I hoping it will soon? I'm not even sure about that. Or what I hope at all really. Weird.

I went super deep in the daily dollar last night. Somehow i managed to have 250k chips at one point. My roomate railed me for nearly the entire tourney and was prett depressed when i busted in a standard spot. I shrugged it off after 5 hours of play and barely a score...i was used to this sort of disappointment i later realized. And since i was used to it...it wasn't nearly as dissappointing. dissappointment is a function of misguided expectation. I completely expected to get into a situation in which i might lose all my chips busting for a very little amount. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Life has been good though. It's really hard to complain about much...and here i sound so emo. Meh, i guess introspection isn't necessarily emo...and it's certainly not a bad thing in moderation.