On Balance of Mind

Want a little more sukha and a little less dukkha in your life?

Deep within your inner ear lies an amazing little doohickey called the vestibular apparatus, consisting of three semi circular canals.  Each of these canals contain little hair like fibers awash in a fluid bath.  All together these canals detect motion in three dimensional space.  One canal detects movement in the horizontal plane, one in the vertical plane, while the third detects forward and backward movement.  When your head moves it stirs these little hairs within the fluid and as they detect movement, corresponding adjustments to the rest of the body are required in order to offset the change in your center of gravity.  This little vestibular gizmo is also used by your eyeballs to help maintain focus and contact on moving objects at the same time you yourself are moving.  As the little hairs detect motion they send a signal along nerves to a small group of neurons in your brain called the vestibular nuclei where the information is processed.  A signal is then sent from the vestibular nuclei to the appropriate muscles for adjustment, keeping your body balanced in relation to the world around you.  I know it sounds complicated when you think about all the thousands of signals traveling to and fro, moment by moment just to keep your body upright and moving in any given direction.  But all in all it just comes naturally to you, and because you don’t think about it, you don’t struggle with it.  When you want to take a step, you just take a step.  When you want to sit, you just sit.  You simply wake up, you go about your day and hopefully you don’t fall over. 

Now that we’ve gone over the simple complexities of our vestibular apparatus and brain to body balance, the question might be…how do we achieve and maintain balance of mind?

As humans we tend to want, desire and crave.  These cravings are the cause of much of our self inflicted angst and imbalance in our lives.  In the world of Buddhism the word dukkha is often referred to as pain and suffering, but the word encompasses much more than physical pain or mental anguish.  Dukkha is described in classic Sanskrit as a wheel off kilter or unbalanced.  The opposing word to dukkha is sukha loosely defined as a wheel of perfect balance. 

With all of my recent studies on the subject of life, the universe, spirituality and my efforts to obtain the strength of a positive and optimistic mind, I am coming more and more to see that in order to achieve balance in life we must live within the moment that is ‘now’.  What happened yesterday, an hour ago, or a moment ago is what was, and not what is.  Although it is nice to reminisce over our treasured memories and feel sorrow and ache over the painful ones, we should always reflect on them simply as memories.  We should not hold them too tightly, as when we do, we become bound to them, slaves to our past.  Our memories, good or bad, are not the reality that is ‘now’.  Reality and truth are grounded in this moment and can be found only in this moment and nowhere else.  What may happen tomorrow, in an hour, or in a future moment, is a now that’s time has not yet come.  This does not mean we shouldn’t plan for the future.  But once again, it is easy to  become a slave to our conceptual thought of what the outcome of that future might be.  The idea of what a future moment might be is akin to past memories and not an element of reality.  It is but a abstract mind made dream that is not real, not grounded in truth.

So how do we make ourselves stop the wanting and craving that keeps us out of true center?  We don’t!  To want to stop wanting, or to crave to stop craving just adds to the wanting and craving.  We can however, become the observer of the wanting and craving.  When we become the watcher of our thoughts the yearning subsides and when the yearning subsides the mind comes into balance on its own natural accord, as we are the thinkers and not the thoughts that are thunk.  Thunk you say?  Yes I said thunk, but it was just a test to see if you are truly giving these words your full attention (and a test for my cherished wife who edits my lexis, just to see if she will allow such a cataclysmic calamity of the precious written word).  One way of achieving balance within the mind is to stay present within the moment, to be mindful and alert to all our surroundings.  To give our full and complete attention to this moment that is ‘now’, is to honor life, to honor truth, for this moment is the only place truth and life can ever be found, not our concept of what is happening in this moment but the moment itself.  Become the observer, hear the crackle of leaves beneath your feet as you walk.  Feel the air as it passes through the hairs in your nostrils with each breath you take.  Become the witness without generating thought, without forming judgment.  But thoughts do tend to create themselves, so we should monitor these thoughts with no attempt to stop them from arising.  The goal is to attain what is known as ‘mushin’ or ‘munen’ loosely translated as ‘no mind’ or ‘no thought’.  It is achieved through meditation, relaxation, and inner stillness.  This may begin as small gaps of no conceptual thought, filled in with direct perceptual thought that at its core forms an opening for the rebalancing of our subconscious mind. 

Much like the balancing of body by vestibular gizmo and brain, we can also train our mind itself  to come into perfect balance and harmony.  Without thinking about it, without struggling with it, we can balance our mind with our mind.  We can wake up from the endless prattle of conceptual fret and our minds will balance themselves naturally without struggle.  We can move away from the dukkha and have a little more sukha in our lives.  We can wake up go about our day and hopefully we wont fall over.

By Mark McCann

OlDustyAces on PokerStars

Ol_Dusty on FullTilt

Your Luck is Not Determined by the Turn of a Card and Real Men Wear Pink!

Do you know how incredibly lucky you really are? 

So you say, “but Dusty, my ace king never seems to hold up when I get it in against ace jack.  My pre flop aces always get cracked.  I’ve been buying lottery tickets for years and have never hit it big and my horse just never seems to come in.”  But if you really think about your gift of human life, your ability to love and be loved, I think you’ll realize just how lucky you really are.

Of all the other living organisms on earth, you were born a human child, and that’s not even considering other life lying beyond our realm of the universe.  I mean really – think about it for a moment - try to contemplate the odds of you being born a human rather than a fire ant, a blade of grass, or a parasite living your life stuck to the side of a fish.  Well the odds of this are simply too enormous even to ponder.  So I guess we’ve all hit a sort of ‘lottery’ before we even knew we wanted to be lucky!

I suppose this is an egoic way of thinking in that it assumes being human is somehow superior to being the fire ant, the blade of grass or the petite little parasite living its modest life stuck to the side of that ill-fated fish.  But, if you do feel lucky to not have been born into the parasitic family, you may wish to read on.

The other night I made the final table of a five dollar re-buy.  I was third from the bottom in chips on the button with the second hand dealt at this final table.  I had around twenty big blinds when the player under the gun made a minimum raise.  The table folded around to me and I pushed all in.  It seemed I had gotten lucky being dealt a pair of kings pre-flop.  Both blinds fold and expecting the under the gun player to call his big hand or fold his trash, to my delight, with little thought he calls with his ace four off suit.  I get that sick feeling in my gut as the ace drops on the flop and I’m all done by the river.  I was very disappointed with all my bad luck of late.  This would have been a much needed $7,000 plus payout had I taken first place, and of course, when I make a final table I expect to take first place, barring bad luck that is.

Feeling disheartened and dejected, I shut down the PC and walked out into the living room where I told my non-poker playing wife about yet another episode of bad luck.  She consoled me and asked me if I played well.  I replied yes I played the entire tourney at my highest level and she said “that’s all that really matters isn’t it” and gave me a hug.  I immediately realized that I am far luckier than I sometimes give myself credit for.  To have the support, understanding and compassion of such an incredible individual as my beautiful wife.

You see friends, my wife is today recovering from her second surgery in three weeks.  This one was a minor, yet painful surgery to install a port that leads from her right chest wall through an artery going toward her heart.  I’m told this will mix her medications better and will avoid her having to constantly get stuck with needles and avoid the blowing out of the veins in her hand, wrist and arm.  A few weeks ago she had a total hysterectomy and pathology reports found metastasized breast cancer in her ovaries, uterus and cervix.  It is also metastasized to her bones.  She began treatment two years ago after a radical modified mastectomy taking her left breast and 47 lymph nodes.  She then underwent chemotherapy and radiation.  We hoped for the best but recent scans showed new problems.  Many tears have been shed, much anger has been felt.  But through it all, she still smiles, laughs, loves and lives life to the fullest.  She is compassionate and caring and always puts the interests of others before her own.  I learn a little more about life from her each and everyday and I admire her in every way.  Her body has become a road map of battle scars and yet she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. 

Ah my friends, I am truly a lucky man to be such a part of Susan’s life.  Now you may say, “well it doesn’t sound like Susan is so lucky”!  But you would be wrong.  Although it was very unlucky that she contracted a type of cancer known as lobular breast cancer, easily missed in yearly mammograms and in her case missed each year for at least five years, the fact is, there is no single individual on this planet who is not terminal and there never has been.

Susan will soon begin her treatment and she will again get the upper hand on this dreaded disease.  She is very lucky to live in this time of modern medicine when a cure may be found at any time as she continues her battle.  She is indeed lucky to have so many loving and caring friends who pray for her, sending good will and the best intentions for her well being.  She is lucky to have me.  That’s right; I will take credit for the love and care I give to her, and the loving thoughts I feel for her, as she knows I will always be at her side and will always have her best interests in my heart.  She is lucky to know her God that she counts on to carry her through times that can seem so treacherous and sometimes unbearable.  She is lucky to have the kind of attitude that will not allow luck to determine the outcome of her life as she will not blind out of life and intends to fight until she defeats her stealthy opponent. 

One hundred years from now none of our lives will still be in existence, but we will have been truly lucky to have lived them.  Some of us will have been extremely lucky enough to have shared our lives with someone as incredible and extraordinary as my girl Sue.  So please my friends, appreciate the luck you are given, accept the bad with the good and count your blessings each and every moment… and don’t ever forget…your luck is not determined by the turn of a card and indeed poker truly is just a game.  

So guys, man-up, take a night off, put on your best pink shirt and take your girl out for a nice dinner…she deserves it!

By Mark McCann, AKA on PokerStars as OlDustyAces, AKA on FullTilt as Ol_Dusty

On the Universe and Life

Do you think the little caterpillar knows as she entombs herself that she will later emerge as a magnificent winged creature who will float on air with such elegance and grace?

We know that we live in a galaxy we call the Milky Way and our galaxy is but a very tiny part of the universe.  We live on a small rock on the outer edge of this Milky Way.  Our rock rotates around a huge star we claim as our sun.  There are billions of other stars within our galaxy and there are billions of other galaxies within the universe, each containing billions of stars.  These galaxies which we are able to see with the help of telescopes such as Hubble are amazing.  With what we can see, we must conclude that there is other life out there, and a lot of life there must be. Anyone with a basic knowledge of odds and probabilities would have to conclude that we are not the only planet containing life.  I have three cats who probably don’t believe life exists outside of our house.

All matter within the universe is made up of vibrating subatomic particles, including what we might view as empty space.  What we consider to be empty space is actually a field of very powerful energy known to scientists as the Zero Point Field.  This field contains many different types of particles including quantum particles, and other particles beyond the understanding of current science.  So, could it be that this field connects us all to one another and to every living and non-living thing within the universe?  Most people believe their life form ends at the outer layers of their skin.  Of coarse, those who have religious beliefs might think there is more; that they have a soul or spirit that lives within their skin suit and will leave their body upon its demise.  Those who adamantly oppose all religion might think they are just a giant bone bag, here to eat, poop, die, and in the end to simply rot away like so much refuse.  But what if they are all wrong?  No wait!  What if they are all right? 

Could it be possible that Jeff Hawkins was incorrect in his book “On Intelligence” with his theory on the neurons that make up our cerebral cortex?  What if these neurons are not just tiny little storage devises sitting there storing each individual’s life information moment after moment, day after day, year after year, only to be deleted upon the demise of their particular human organism? 

What if these neurons are actually tiny transmitters and receivers that transmit and receive information into the big beautiful and ever expanding universe?  Maybe the energy source that powers our existence moves out upon our passing to energize some new life source or life sources.  But maybe our thoughts our hopes and our dreams - that which makes us who we are do not reside within our brains to start with.  Maybe it all becomes clear upon our demise.  Maybe we are all simply a part of this big beautiful universe.  Maybe those with Alzheimer’s and other brain afflictions didn’t lose their memories. Maybe they just lost their receivers and all thought and all knowledge will become clear again upon shedding the baggage of their human form.

We have much to learn in science and in spirituality. As poker players we have all felt what was about to happen a split second before the card was turned.  Dogs get lost thousands of miles from home and yet can find their way back.  Service dogs know when their owners are about to have a seizure.  Predators sense fear in their prey and the prey sometimes sense the predators’ presence without seeing, hearing or smelling their impending marauder.  When someone stares at you long enough you will feel it within.  People who feel they are reincarnated can tell you details about a life long past.  Stigmata, telekinesis, distant healing, the placebo effect, quantum mechanics…  I could go on and on listing the many things that science cannot explain and these may be other dimensions we as humans may never understand, as we are limited by our ever evolving and beautiful brains. 

Could it be that our intensions actually create the universe we are all a part of?  Maybe when you’re happy or you have a loving heart, you create positive thought which in turn projects positive energy out into the universe and when you are sad or angry you produce negative energy which in turn projects negativity out into the universe, and what you project outward is what the universe returns to you.  So, when we view the universe, we may have it backwards if we question how it affects our daily decisions, as our daily decisions may just be what affects the universe, and in turn, ourselves and those around us.

The rejection of scientific discoveries by religious zealots throughout the ages and throughout the world may have blindfolded decades and centuries of human beings to truth and reality, slowing our growth as intelligent beings.  However, the total rejection of spirituality by the scientific community as well as their total embracing of Newtonian laws and physics and Darwinist views of  life may have stifled our growth far more than the zealots spouting their religious beliefs ever did.  Like everything else in the universe spirituality and science not only should be connected, but they are in fact one in the same.  Dualism creates conflict, not solution and is not the way.

Maybe our little lives are more important than they seem to be!

For more information on the Zero Point Field and the power of intention I would highly recommend reading or listening to the books by Lynne Mctaggart titled “The Field” and the follow-up book titled “The Intention Experiment”.       

By Mark McCann, AKA on PokerStars as OlDustyAces, AKA on FullTilt as Ol_Dusty

This is Your Brain on Tilt

As we humans have developed through time, our brains have developed better problem solving abilities, but our old brain is still present and active and information still gets there first.  So knowing it is in our nature to react first and think second, we should always remember that although we may view ourselves as thinking creatures that have feelings, we are in fact biologically emotional creatures that think.

My biggest ongoing problem with poker I believe has been tilt.  I have searched high and low and worked long and hard on this problem.  In my search I have found there to be many reasons we go on tilt.  The following article is my attempt at helping our community to understand one of the biological reasons behind this condition and what you might be able to do to adjust for it.  So put on your thinking caps and read on.  

When you look at a picture of the brain, it resembles a giant chunk of wadded up bubble gum.  That outer portion of your brain is called the cerebral cortex.  Your cerebral cortex is actually made up of six separate layers, each of these layers being about the width of a standard Bicycle playing card, the ace of clubs to be specific. Your cerebral cortex contains billions of neurons.  Many of today’s scientists believe these neurons are where your life’s information is stored.  For more information on this topic you, might want to read the excellent book by Jeff Hawkins titled ‘On Intelligence’.  This type of brain memory system of each human’s individual life seems to be acceptable for those who want to believe in an internal dualistic mindset.  But we won’t get into quantum mechanics, quantum memory, energy fields or any of that, as it’s another topic altogether.  So lets get back to your internal brain.

I won’t go into the separate hemisphere’s of the brain, but deep within  the layers of your cerebral cortex is where you will find the cortical cells of your limbic system.  These are cells we, as humans, share with other mammals.  As information stimulation flows into your brain, it goes through the limbic system (the reactionary part of your brain) before reaching the outer most layers of your cortex (the problem solving part of your brain).  Although I’ve listened to many audio books on the brain, and its inner workings, much of the information in this writing was garnered from the tremendous audio book titled ‘My Stroke of Insight’ written and read  by ph.D. Jill Bolte.  (I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever been affected by stroke, whether self, friend, family, or anyone like myself who is simply interested in the brain, the universe and life itself).  

I would also like to note that I am not a trained expert on the brain, the universe, religion, poker or anything else. I, in fact, barely made it through high school and what education I do have has been self taught over these many wonderful years I’ve been blessed with life.    I am but a simple collector of information and this writing is my attempt at regurgitating a small portion of what I’ve collected that may or may not be relevant to my friends in the poker community.  So, once again let me get back on track. 

The limbic system works by placing an effect or emotion onto the information streaming in through your senses.  In our world of poker, this is sometimes referred to as the tilt system.  Because we share these cells with other mammals, these cells are often referred to as the reptilian brain, or the emotional brain.  But in our poker world these cells may sometimes be referred to as the donkey brain.  When we are newborns these cells become wired together in response to sensory stimulation.  Although our limbic system functions throughout our lifetime, it does not mature.  As a result, when our emotional buttons get pushed, we sometimes react to the arriving stimulus in a childish, or donkish manner, when we in fact are adult humans with the ability to think problems through.

Now that we’ve gone over what happens within your brain to put you on tilt or cause you to react rather than to come up with a measured and reasonable response to a problem or situation, we need a solution to correct or suppress our tilting ways. 

Remembering that although the information stimulation reaches your limbic system first, it will continue on and reach your higher cortical cells, but with and emotion or effect attached to the stimuli.  So, the simple solution is when you’re faced with a decision, you should always give yourself a couple of seconds before you make that decision final and think about what’s actually happening in your brain.  But, we’ve all been told that before, so lets dig a little deeper.

As our higher cortical cells develop and become incorporated in complex networks with other neurons, we add the ability to take new pictures of the present moment.  When we compare the new information of our thinking mind with the automatic reactivity of our limbic mind.  We can re-evaluate the current situation and purposely choose a more mature response.

Today’s brain based learning techniques used in elementary through high school capitalize on what neuroscientists understand about the function of the limbic system.  With these learning techniques we try to transform our classrooms into environments that feel safe and familiar to the students.

How can this help us as poker players?  Well, maybe we should create an environment where our brains fear/rage response (amygdala) is not triggered, when we are playing or studying the game.  The principal job of the amygdala is to search all incoming stimulations in this direct moment, and determine the level of safety. 

One of the jobs of the Cingulate Gyrus  (a part of the limbic system) is to focus the brain’s attention.  When the incoming stimulation is perceived as familiar, the amygdala is calm and the adjacently positioned hippocampus is capable of learning and memorizing new information.  However, as soon as the amygdala is triggered by unknown or perhaps menacing stimulation, it raises the brain’s level of anxiety and focuses the minds attention on the immediate situation at hand.  Under these circumstances, our attention is shifted away from the hippocampus and focused toward self-preserving behavior about the present moment (also known as fight or flight).  Sensory information streams in through our sensory system and is instantly processed though our limbic system.  By the time a message reaches our cerebral cortex, for higher thinking, we’ve already placed a feeling or emotion upon how we view that stimulation.

With this information, it is clear that playing online poker in a calm, clean, quiet, and pleasurable environment may be one key in concentrating and making correct decisions.  This is also the kind of environment we should be in while watching training videos, reading forums, books and other techniques we use to become better players in order to help the information stick.  I guess I’ll spend next weekend cleaning my computer room and breaking out the Feng Shui book to make things a little more tranquil, and relaxing. 

By Mark McCann, AKA on PS as OlDustyAces, AKA on FT as Ol_Dusty