Lately, it's felt like one thing after another has been running badly for me.  The temptation is there to tilt.  It's scratching at my brain and clawing at my heart. To stop caring. To throw it all away.  Run.  Quit.  Flee.

1. I've been running like utter garbage at PLO Rush lately.  I like the pace and format of the game, but I just can't seem to hold and run according to equity. The other night, actually the last month in general, I've been getting in my money way ahead, often 70% or more in on the turn, only to lose 70-80% of them.  As I drain my BR each week to fund my promotional freerolls, this causes extra pressure to play to reduce or balance the drain.
2. While I reached 5k members this week at Poker Curious, the site is having growing pains and I'm probably losing my longest partner as he no longer has time to give it.
3. I've been negotiating to bring in a new partner, but I keep having to jump through hoops to prove myself.  Some hoops I'm better at jumping through than others.
4. I was trying to book some last minute business trip to Vegas to meet with this potential merge partner, and while we decided on the best times the fares doubled, so now I'm paying more and doubling my travel time to get there.
5. I recently severely damaged my relationship with a couple family members over some misunderstood comments I made in my blog.
6. I've been living off my life savings for the last couple years, and I better not live long...LOL

But do I go on tilt over that? No, that's too easy.  Quitters don't get far in life.  And I am not alone.  I have a wife and kids who count on me.  I have my innate determination to overcome obstacles.  Experience is a comfort.  I know I can overcome difficulty.  I know I will survive.  For every negative, I can identify something small but positive that make my struggle worthwhile.

Watching the end of Black Hawk Down the other night, one of the main characters said something that re-framed it for me.  He was talking about how people back home didn't understand why he enlisted.  What are you trying to be, a hero or something?  He said "no one asks to be a hero....sometimes it just turns out that way."  I don't make decisions or choices in my life thinking I will ever be a hero, but my family needs me to act like one.  I owe it to them and I owe it to myself to never let the obstacles get the better of me.

As Robert Frost once said "The best way out is always through."  See you on the other side!